What Your Halloween Costume Says About You
And so we come to that time of year again, the scariest season of them all. Because of the ghosts? No. Because of the ghouls? No. Because it’s getting dark at six pm? Yes, but also no. Every year in October, as the nights draw in and pumpkins adorn doorsteps, thousands of us get invited to Halloween parties and have to decide on a costume that perfectly sums up who we are, letting everyone know how fun and cool and sexy we are. What if you send out the wrong signals? No one wants to be a Halloween party pariah. But never fear, Niamh is coming to the rescue! Without further ado, here is the official Natter with Niamh guide to what your Halloween costume says about you:
A Minion
Recognisable by: Yellow t shirt, dungarees, 8-10 friends.
The minion doesn’t really care about halloween, but he does care about the rugby lads (see also football, hockey, etc.) and drinking with the rugby lads and letting everyone know you’re one of the rugby lads. He may have painted his face yellow to signify he is a ‘bit of a laugh’, but in the club it will just look like jaundice.
A self-made Doctor Who alien costume
Recognisable by: Visibly disintegrating paper mache tentacles, giving a ten minute long monologue about the nuances of their character.
Halloween is the best night of the year for a Doctor Who alien. They get to take their fandom off the online forums and into the streets, complete with spray painted cardboard battle armour, and eye bags that say ‘I spent all night spray painting this battle armour’. While they may have wanted to make friends at this party, they unfortunately didn’t consider the wide berth everyone would have to give them on the dance floor because of the size of their tentacles.
Elphaba and Glinda
Recognisable by: Pink and green, angry looks.
Of course these two are Elphaba and Glinda for Halloween, they’re best friends. Yes they may have had a screaming match over who got to be Ariana Grande and who had to paint their face green, but this way always made sense because only one of them is a natural blonde. Throw in an irl love triangle with blondie’s boyfriend as Fiyero, and I would safely predict this friendship to have devolved to loathing by Christmas.
Taylor Swift and Charli XCX
Recognisable by: Blonde and black wigs, longing looks.
While at first this may seem like a similar premise to Elphie and Glinda, they are in fact polar opposites. Nothing says Actually Romantic like two best friends dressing up as rivals for the night. Expect longing looks, wig hair twirling, and if all goes well making out in the smoking area by 11 pm. Charli would approve. See also: Lorde and Charli XCX
Sexy Bunny/Cat/Angel/Devil
Recognisable by: A bodysuit and interchangeable headbands
She is currently single, and we’re going into cuffing season, but she is not going down without a fight. By the end of the night she could be crying into her jager bomb, or making out with the minion. All I’ll say is remember yellow face paint can stain.
Jeans and a T shirt, but with fake blood
Recognisable by: Can of Monster Energy, lack of will to live
This poor sap forgot to ask for a shift swap, and so came straight to the club from a full day in their retail job. In many ways, the bravest soldier on Halloween.
To find out what I and the rest of the Scribbled team will be dressing as this year for Halloween stay tuned on our socials!
Niamh Duncan is an author, theatre maker and knitter living in Norwich, England. Having graduated from the University of East Anglia with a first-class degree in creative writing, she is now engaged in answering life’s big questions, namely how do you pay your rent with a degree in creative writing. In her spare time Niamh loves drinking tea and cocktails (usually not simultaneously) and going for long rambling walks.