Baby Factories: Surrogate Mothers in Denmark

When I was eight, my mother gave birth to a child – not for herself, but for her friend. For me, it was a magical experience. I was proud. My sister and I fought daily over who could get the baby in the belly to learn our name first. We did a countdown with a chocolate calendar to the birth and everything. It was magical for my mother too. That is… until the child was born.

Because then she suddenly became a mother – legally. Yep, welcome to Denmark, where the surrogate – that is, the woman who carries a child for someone else – is automatically recognized as the mother, even if she has no genetic connection to the child. That meant the boy was listed as my mother’s son, thus heir, and my mother was registered as responsible for a son’s dentist visits, school records, and health data – even though he wasn’t her child.

She could, in principle, risk being stuck with him if something were to happen to the biological father.

The solution? A stepchild adoption, of course. My mother’s friend had to wait two and a half years to be allowed to adopt her own child. It might seem a bit absurd, but welcome to Danish surrogacy livfe.

But now – hallelujah – from January 1, 2025, it is actually possible to be registered as the parent of a child born via a surrogate. A step in the right direction, but one is tempted to ask: Why did it take us so long to get here? My mother gave birth to a child in 2020, for god’s sake.

And why does it still have to take place abroad? Surrogate mothers in Denmark are not allowed to receive payment, and they must use their own eggs. This means that most Danes who wish to pursue surrogacy have to travel to places like the USA or – more realistically for most – Prague. Yes, Prague is a bit cheaper but also comes with more inconsistent communication. Personally, I would feel much safer with Danish healthcare professionals than having to guess my way through consultations with a doctor who speaks poor English.

Is it really so unmanageable to allow egg donation and surrogacy within regulated Danish conditions? Why not make it possible for it to happen here – at a private clinic, under proper circumstances, and with Danish healthcare staff? That would actually make it much easier to ensure that the surrogate is not being exploited.

But no. Because in Denmark, we’re very concerned that someone might make money from their own body. That applies to surrogate mothers and – let’s be honest – pretty much anyone who chooses something outside the neat, state-approved norm.

My mother couldn’t tell anyone she was pregnant. She had to lie to her job in order to travel abroad. That says something about how absurd things are. That, as a surrogate in Denmark, you have to hide what you're doing as if it were a criminal act, when in fact you should be celebrated.

So yes – maybe it’s time we ask ourselves: Are we really protecting the surrogate mothers? Or is this just another way for us to avoid taking ethical responsibility while letting other countries solve the problems for us?

 I'm a girl who've been purring my emotions onto paper since I learned to scribble letters down. The writer in me is screaming, hoping to be heard, but somehow still stays unheard