Christmas Fruit Cake Recipe

Sample the whiskey to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the whiskey again.
To be sure whiskey is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the whiskey is shtill OK.
Try another cup…just in case.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
sdrewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who caresh.
Check the whiskey. That’s the important thing.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and puss in the fridge (or sink).
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl out the window, check the whiskey and kick
the cat.
Go to bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

taken from Gay Byrne

(1934-2019)